Code Name: Sailor Moon?
by Tsukasa Twilight Guardian
Summary: Sailor Moon Elseworlds. Meet Lena, whose best friends are absolutely gaga over Sailor Moon, and she hates it. Her life suddenly changes when the comics come to life, forcing the Sailor Moon hater in the role of the heroine! Can she save the day? R&R
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any thing with a copyright that you would see or see allusions to.

Code Name Sailor Moon?

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: Five vs. Five for the Fighting<strong>

"Wait up!" my best friend Molly said. I looked back at the girl from the Bronx, whose family moved to our sleepy little town a few years ago. Her mother ran a bakery called, 'Keet's Treats.' She used the settlement from her divorce to make the down payment, and now the little bakery was thriving.

"Hey Mol," I said with a smile as I brushed some of my thick black hair out of my face.

"I got the latest copy of Sailor Moon today!" she said.

"That's nice," I said distractedly. Molly and my other three best friends were all obsessed with anime and while I enjoyed the occasional show, they liked it if it was originally Japanese. Plus my tastes ran a bit different. Where they liked Card Captors, Sailor Moon, Tokyo Mew-Mew, Perfect Boyfriend, Ouran Host Club (Read: girl manga/anime), I preferred Dragon Ball (Z), Bleach, Shaman King, and Yu-gi-oh.

Molly glared at me from behind her wavy brown hair, which she left down most of the time, but being cut into a short bob she really didn't have much choice of what to do with her hair. Oddly enough we had the exact same colored eyes despite being different. I had mid length black hair, and was a broader framed girl than skinny little Molly.

"Lena, your hair's on fire," Molly said to see if I was paying attention.

"No it's not," I said as two sets of identical October blue eyes locked on each other.

"You're not going to convert her to your ways very easily," said a voice. We turned to see Renee was there, looking very amused. The shorter blonde ran a hand through her long hair, her eyes glittering behind her extremely thick glasses. Next to her were the other two members of our little quintet. To the immediate left of the slim and willowy Renee was the small and extremely petite blonde haired ice blue eyed Mara, and to Mara's left was the Amazonian girl with green eyes and black hair. This was Andrea AKA Andy. Her black hair was cut short, earlobe length.

"Never," I said proudly which made the others laugh and Renee and I roll our eyes. As the two most studious of the group only we cared a lot about our grades.

"Whatever, listen I'm gotta be late to our get together, soccer's probably going to run late," Andy said.

"We know, and we'll have the tutoring stuff ready for you," I said.

"I'm not completely dumb," Andy grumbled.

"I didn't mean it that way!" I said as I back peddled, my mouth tasting of my hastily withdrawn foot.

"So are you finally gonna cave and join us in our costume group this year?" asked Mara.

"I'm not putting on a blue wig and a mini-skirted sailor outfit," I said pointed.

"But you're the perfect Mercury!" Molly pleaded.

"Why not make Andy Mercury?" I asked, "At least her hair's the right length."

"She's Jupiter; Renee goes as Mars, Mara's Venus, and I'm Moon. We just need a Mercury," Molly pleaded.

"We would also need Tuxedo Mask, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto, the three Starlights, and the four Shitennou," Mara pointed out.

"For just the inners we'd need Tuxedo Mask and the Shitennou," Molly said, "Though with your name maybe we should switch S-."

"Finish that name and I will scream your real name from the tallest building I can find Molly," I threatened, "That goes double for the rest of you." The only one who didn't seem worried was Mara. Then again, out of all of us, her parents hadn't saddled her with a completely off the wall name.

"Besides, I've been thinking of switching over to Michiko for a while anyway, as my middle name means 'bitter,' according to this baby book I've been reading," Mara said.

"Alert the papers! Mara's cracked open a book!" I said earning a swat from Mara. Mara's ambition in life is to marry well and never work a day in her life, sadly to say this was more realistic than Molly and Renee's dreams of fame through singing or Andy's through professional sports and slightly more realistic than my goals of being an astronaut.

Never going to happen because I will never join any branches of the service, I mean come on me a soldier? Give me a break! I'm so clumsy I make Usagi from Sailor Moon look coordinated.

"GAH! You've infected me with your girl manga!" I screamed.

"So will you be our Mercury?" Molly asked.

"NO!"

"If it isn't the astro-nut, Bob," an annoying voice said. This was Maxwell Lord. I know, what _were_ his parents thinking naming him that. Now this doesn't sound like it would anger me yet it does.

I attempt to ignore him but he won't let it drop.

"Didn't you hear me Bob?" he asked.

"Go to hell, Max." I growled at the little dweeb. Next to him was the unattainable of the male populous Michael South. His dark hair and exotic silver eyes could make any girl swoon. Michael was by no means friends with Maxwell, he was just walking by.

Of course I feel all the uglier whenever his girlfriend, captain of the cheerleading squad Mina Love flounces up to him, her long blonde hair pulled back in a red bow, her sky blue eyes cold pools of fire. This song I had to sing for chorus came to mind.

"_April is in my mistress face…and July in her eyes hath place…within her bosom is September…but in her heart…a cold December_," which translated to pretty face, passionate eyes, ample chest (September being the harvest month and supposedly bounteous) but she is cold hearted. This described Mina Love perfectly. Her best friends were Serena Moonstone, an equally cold, but extremely airheaded girl who wore her long blonde hair in pigtails, (though this was done so people didn't mix her and Mina up as they looked freakishly alike), Raye Firestone (Renee's bitch cousin) who had long raven colored hair and violet eyes, and Amy Rivers, the petite child genius had no time for anyone but her friends, her eyes a blue as ice, but also just as inviting. Her short black hair shone with blue highlights. Rounding out the group was basketball star Lyta Forests, the tall brunette's green eyes shone with malice as she spotted her arch enemy, Andy. Despite appearances, Serena Moonstone was the leader of this crew of bitches.

Ah here they come now, all perky in their barely school legal skirts, heals, and perky long sleeved polos that hugged their perfectly shaped bodies making my group feel like the Frump Squad, and I know it was intentional. Me and Serena were longtime enemies. It dates back to Brownies and she was a spoiled, self-centered, airhead even then.

Flashback

_"I want blue!" eight-year-old Serena pouted wearing her cutsey overalls. It was all over construction paper_

_"No, I got it first!" I yelled back. I was wearing a blue stripped dress._

_"I WANT BLUE!" Serena said throwing a tantrum._

_"SO DO I AND I GOT HERE FIRST!" I responded._

_"Enough! Lena, give Serena your blue paper and take that gray piece," the leader, Serena's mother said. She turned her back on us and Serena stuck her tongue out at me. It took Andy and Renee's quick intervention to keep me from tackling that brat._

End Flashback

Ok so paper is no reason to hold a grudge right? Well it's more than that. That was just the first incident I can remember. We started to dislike each other afterwards, glares here and there, the occasional insult thrown, juvenile incidents (such as "Whoops" moments when we'd accidentally trip into one another etc.), and as we kept going our dislike grew until the unfortunate thing called puberty gave Serena all the tools she'd need to get guys to do her dirty work. Bitch.

"I heard you and your gang of misfits were going as a group to the dance, as the Sailor Scouts of all things," Serena sneered.

"Maybe we are and maybe we aren't what's it to you, Plastic?" I asked.

"Well, Ragmuffin, it's just that we were doing the exact same thing," Serena tittered.

"Let me guess, you're going as Sailor Frigid Bitch?" Molly said.

"Moon actually," Serena said brushing off the insult, "Amy is going as Mercury, Lyta as Jupiter, Raye as Mars, and Mina as Venus. So I'm guessing Ragmuffin will be Sailor Moron, You'll be Sailor Loser, _she'll_ be Sailor Wannabe, She'll be Sailor Bug, and wittle Mara will be Sailor Wimp." At '_she'll_' Serena sneered at Andy and for 'Sailor Bug' her hand 'accidentally' sent Renee's glasses flying. Andy's quick reflexes caught the frames before Lyta could.

As you can tell they've done this before.

"We'll see, Plastic," I said, "And by the way, is that a zit on your forehead?"

"AHHHH!" Serena screamed as she ran to the bathroom, her goon squad behind her, trailed by the boy friends of her goons: Michael, Nicholas West, Zackary North, and Jarred East, with Serena's boyfriend, Darien Prince, trailing behind in his dark haired, blue eyed gorgeousness.

"Sickening isn't it?" asked a voice next to me. I leapt into the air to see one of my friends who were guys were there.

"No it's pathetic, it's the fifth time in a row that I've gotten her with that zit thing," I said.

"True," Eddy said. Eddy has long blonde hair and midnight blue eyes, but he was skinny as a rail, and had almost as bad an acne problem as I had, "Heard you guys needed a Tuxedo Mask?"

"If Lena's in," said Molly said.

"I'm in just to show those bitches a thing or two," I growled.

"Oui!" Eddy said earning odd looks from people around us.

"Knock it off you crazy Lunarian!" I said shoving him.

"Ah, you know you can't resist moi!" Eddy said pouring on his accent. Eddy is from a small Island Kingdom called Isle de la Lune or Moon Island. They call themselves Lunarians or as they'd have it spelled, _Lunariens_. Eddy's last name is something Frenchie, like Le Roi or something. My group's not big on full names, except as blackmail due to the aforementioned emotional scarring that each of our parents, except Mara's, inflicted upon us after giving us our horrific names. Though we've yet to learn Eddy's, though I'll bet it's something tame like Edward, Edwin, or Edgar.

The night of the dance arrived and I checked out my reflection in my sister's mirror. I had on a short blue wig, a plastic tiara held on by an elastic band that I had _under_ my wig, my black hair braided around my head to avoid making the wing lumpy and to help pin it in place. I wore white tights under the costume because of the skirt's length with blue knee high boots, white elbow length gloves which had blue cuffs, the sailor outfit was exactly as Sailor Mercury's was described to have been. I felt silly carrying the transformation wand with me.

"Ready?" asked my mother, whose parents had also been cruel to her and named her Hippolyta after Wonder Woman's mother. Hence why Diana is my middle name and why my mother tried for the first so many years of my life to attempt to get me to answer to Diana. With my dark hair and blue eyes I could have dressed up as Wonder Woman, except I'm not that bold, that busty, or that buff. And to be honest, not that pretty.

"Ok, let's do this," I said as I looked at my reflection one last time before I left for the night.

I arrived at the part to see the others and Eddy were waiting for me. Molly had on the red, white, and blue version of my fuku with the moon pendant on the red bow on her chest that matched her butt bow, whereas mine were light blue, and my skirt and collar were royal blue versus the darker blue hers were. Her wig was horrible, the hair looked horribly plastic, and her little moon wand looked bad, but so did I. The others weren't much better, Renee with her black wig and Sailor Mars outfit might have passed were if not for her coke bottle lenses, Mara was closest but the shiny material of her costume just seemed to scream fake, like ours did, Andy's wig was one step up from Molly's and that wasn't hard to do. Mine, over all was the third worst wig being blue in color. Eddy's outfit was also made out of a shiny costume material and screamed fake, but his blonde hair pouring out from under his hat didn't help.

"I can't believe they actually dressed up," I heard the bitch's voice say. I turned to see the bitch squad and their boyfriends were all immaculately dressed in very realistic versions of our own 'fuku', none of them needing wigs for their outfits, except for Zack, Nicholas, and Michael. Amy had probably used blue dye for her short hair that night. They looked like they had stepped right out of the anime into real life. We looked like a bunch of cosplaying losers. Which Serena was quick to point out,

"You all look like a bunch cosplaying morons," she snorted.

"Ingest excrement and perish," I snapped.

"What?" she said.

"What she said was 'Eat Shit and Die,'" Renee translated before Amy could.

"How dare you?" Serena said getting in my face.

"Keep this up and my acne might become contagious and give you pimples," I said. Serena stormed into the main dance area, her posse scrambling to keep up.

"Her vanity is such an easy weakness to exploit," Eddy said.

"Whatever," I said as we walked into the dance.

It was dark, it was loud, and it was the skank contest. I was wearing a mini skirt and even without my tights on, I'd have been still wearing a very modest piece, compared to the others in the room. So just before we were to have the costume contest the lights went out. WE assumed this was a lame attempt of the student council to make the party 'cool.' Well it turned out it wasn't, for screams erupted from where the teachers had been and my eyes adjusted to the darkness to see a monster was there. I froze to my spot in fear. Molly, lovable Molly, threw her tiara at the monster and this snapped both me out of my freeze and its attention on her.

"MOLLY!" I screamed as I dragged her out of the way of the attack it fired. I heard a 'clink' sound and felt a button like thing next to my hand and realized my bow button had come off. I picked it up and brushed something heavier with my gloved hand when I did so. I picked it up and it was seriously glowing in the dark. It was a very realistic version of Sailor Moon's broach. I though Serena had dropped it but I recalled hers had been in the shape of a heart and this one was circular.

"Use it!" A voice hissed somewhere near my back. I whirled around to see a woman with black hair in a yellow suit dress with a crescent moon on her head. With or without the moon I recognized her.

"Mrs. Goodall?" I asked.

"Say Moon Prism Power!" she hissed.

"M-Moon Prism Power?" I said. A rush of energy later and there I was in all the pretty suited, blonde glory of Sailor Moon. Any other (normal) person's first thought would be

'Holy Shit, I'm a real life Sailor Moon!' Mine was,

'Take that Serena, who's cosplaying now!'

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	2. Chapter 2

**Code Name Sailor Moon?**

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><p><strong>Disclaimer<strong>: I don't own any thing with a copyright that you would see or see allusions to.

**TTG**:Thanks to **sparrowflyaway** for reviewing! In response to your review well, I did it for the giggle factor really.

That and it's my way of poking fun at the fact in _Sailor Moon_ the scouts were virtually identical to their civilian forms and not even in a Clark Kent/Superman way. At least Clark Kent seemed to put some effort into that disguise (though not much: glasses? come on!).

I will also take this time to let anyone reading this know that this will be a short fic and was partly inspired by the DC Elseworld's comic called Superman: Secret Identity, which itself was only four issues long. Now onto what anyone reading this is here for: The chapter!

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><p><strong>2: By Jovians, I think we've got it<strong>

After my abrupt transformation into the real life version of Sailor Moon, I didn't have time to gush because Molly and Serena were about to be crushed by the monster.

"Hey ugly, over here!" I yelled. It was after I was able to make out details on it that I realized that my night vision had improved drastically. This thing looked like 'The Blob' and 'The Creature from the Black Lagoon' had an ugly baby together, its scaly head and beady eyes looked right at me.

"Who the heck are you supposed to be?" asked a voice as a floating man appeared. He looked a good deal like Jarred East.

"Same goes for you, blondie," I said.

"In case you haven't noticed, you're blonde too," the man said, "But I'm Jedite, you are?"

"Sailor Moon, who do you think?" I snapped. Now the only thing I really knew about Sailor Moon, aside from what she and her 'inners' looked like, was her signature attack. I pulled off my tiara and said,

"Moon Tiara Magic!" as I threw it like a discus, Jedite was able to avoid it but the blob/lagoon thing couldn't. It crumbled into dust like a vamp that had just been staked on _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ before my tiara returned to my hand.

"Care to try that on me little girl?" Jedite asked appearing next to me so suddenly that I leapt a few feet in the air, but I was smart enough to scramble away.

"Don't throw you tiara, it won't work on him!" Molly yelled, "That was in the sixth episode of the anime. You'd need an airplane to kill him or at least Sailor Mars!"

"Thanks, uh, citizen but everyone needs to scram!" I yelled over my shoulder before I threw my tiara at the doors, destroying a crystal barrier that had formed, which explained why people hadn't simply fled outside when the monster attacked. I caught the magical weapon again and saw Jedite had vanished.

"Boo!" He said as he reappeared next to me making me jump.

"Jupiter Supreme Thunder Crash!"

"Thunderbird strike!" a pair of voices yelled as he was suddenly electrocuted. That and they'd frizzed out my hair.

"Nice going," a voice said. I turned to see in the panicked room was three other forms. One was wearing a black and gold version of what the fried creep had been wearing: Black with gold panels down the sides of his pants. The other was wearing a green and maroon version of that, and he looked a lot like Nick West, just as the guy who'd been electrocuted had looked like Jarred East, only he looked like Nick did as he did while wearing his wig. The third person was Sailor Jupiter.

"Let's get out of here," I said.

"Damn, I wish we had a Mercury," said Jupiter as we fled. The man in black in gold looked just like Darien Prince, I finally noticed but just like with the fried creep and our green and maroon wearing friend, the ones they looked like were clearly in view, just as I knew that Jupiter was not Lyta (thank God) because I wasn't Serena (thank God again).

In the chaos the cops had arrived and the kids had spilled out into the night. We found a place to hide and de-transform. My jaw dropped whenever I saw Eddy was the Darien look alike and Andy was Sailor Jupiter. The boy who was in maroon and green was a friend of Eddy's, Edmund 'Ned' Jones. Ned was a tall lanky boy with bright blonde hair that was short and spiked, his dark blue eyes also filled with confusion.

"We'd better slip back into the chaotic crowds before people realize where we are," I said.

"Good idea, we'll all talk later," Eddy said.

The cops interviewed us and I lied about a lot of stuff, Andy too before we managed to make excuses to spend time with Eddy and Ned.

"So, now what?" asked Andy as we got into Ned's car.

"We talk to Mrs. Goodall. She's the one who told me to transform and I know she has something to do with this," I said as I pointed to my broach. There was golden broach on Andy's costume too with a green Jupiter sigil on it. The boys revealed golden manacles on their right wrists (Ned's had a green stone embedded in it on top, Eddy has a golden crystal) and no amount of tugging would get them off.

"Well If you're Sailor Moon that means you're the moon princess!" Andy said.

"Maybe, maybe not: we don't know if we are the incarnations of the characters or if we just have their powers," Ned said startling all of us.

"First we talk to Mrs. Goodall," I said.

The dance was on a school night so we were able to talk to her the next day. Eddy and Ned met up with me and Andy over an hour before the first bus was to arrive. Luckily, being a bibliophile, I knew that Mrs. Goodall, our librarian, would be there. She was waiting for us in the parking lot.

"Why?" I asked her.

"Why you and not the carbon copies are the senshi?" she asked.

"Well, not exactly what I was going to ask but that works too," I said.

"Evil from that universe has leaked here and your souls resonated with your counterparts in the original 'fictional' universe. Though I could have sworn you'd be Mercury," said Mrs. Goodall.

"Sorry for screwing up your plans," I snapped.

"No, you didn't mess anything up, you're just not who I thought you were," said Mrs. Goodall said.

"Is there a moon princess here?" asked Andy.

"Yes, it's Serena Moonstone," said Mrs. Goodall. Freaking unbelievable! I have to protect her! I knew _that_ much about Sailor Moon.

"And I'm betting Darien Prince is the prince of Earth?" asked Ned in an equally disgusted tone.

"Also correct," Mr. Goodall, assistant librarian and husband of Mrs. Goodall said as he appeared.

"You're Luna and Artemis!" Andy said.

"Their incarnations, yes," said Mr. Goodall. Eddy was looking at them oddly and muttered something in fast French which made the pair look at him in shock.

"Such language," said Mrs. Goodall after she recovered.

"Eddy?" I asked.

"It's nothing," he said.

It was a tense few days after our unwilling conversion to the protectors of the Ice Bitch and her consort. But just because we had to protect them didn't mean anything had to change. And it didn't. Plus the blonde ditz was claiming _she_ was Sailor Moon and she and Lyta had saved the day with Darien and Nick in tow blah, blah, blah. Molly was quick to bust her bubble though,

"If you're Sailor Moon then how was I next to you as you whimpered in fear while she was on the other side of the room dusting that blob thing, huh?" Molly said.

"I,she-we," Serena sputtered.

"Wow, you broke her, Mol," I said.

"Knock it off Ragmuffin," said Serena.

"Whatever," I said as I and the others walked away.

"At least my name doesn't sound like I'm trying to be something I'm not!" Serena said.

"Lena, calm down," said Molly as I stopped dead; it was hardly a secret that 'Lena' wasn't my real first name and that my very well hidden first name was something that I hated. Serena knew _that_ name from brownies.

"My parents chose my name to honor my grandma, nothing more, nothing less," I replied without turning around.

"I'm leaving her ass to Chaos, universe be damned," Andy grumbled later.

"It's not like she knows your real name like she knows mine," I replied, "Though hers is derived from the word 'serene' and mine has mythological roots."

"So what's next, super friends?" asked Ned.

"We wait," I said as I looked over to Andy who nodded,

"The others will pop up in time," she said.

"So do why we all look like doubles of the bitch squad?" I asked.

"That's just coincidence in the case of the Jovians," said Mrs. Goodall startling all of us as we walked to the cafeteria for lunch.

"And for us?" Eddy asked.

"Royal Decoys," said Mrs. Goodall. Eddy got a dark look on his face and just kept walking in silence.

I was walking home alone, stupid move I know, and that's when Goon # 2 showed up.

"You're going to surrender your energy to Queen Beryl!" he said. He looked like Nick and Ned when transformed only his uniform was the same gray color as Jedite's had been.

"Seriously?" I said, "Buh-bye!" I sprinted away while he said some mumbo jumbo about stars. I slipped into an alley and said,

"Moon Prism Power!" Nude-transformation later and I was back to being a blonde in a mini-skirt and red boots. The guy and his monster arrived.

"Where'd that girl go?" he asked.

"I got her to safety," I replied, "Oh, I guess this is the part where you ask me who I am and I go into the dramatic 'In the name of the Moon I punish you speech?"

"What?" he said before I pulled off my tiara.

"Mars Fireball Ignite!"

"Firebird Talons Smite!"

Two more were added to our merry band as Nephlite was destroyed, or the guy Sailor Mars and Jadeite identified as Nephlite.

"Sailor Moon it's an honor or are you like us?" said Mars.

"Probably like you," I said, "Let's get out of here." Jadeite looked like Jedite only he wasn't evil and his uniform was red with yellow stripes down the sides of his pants.

I led them to an abandoned building and said,

"I'm this universe's Sailor Moon, and I'm betting you two are this universe's Sailor Mars and…uh, I don't know your name," I said.

"Jadeite, Heavenly King of the Far East," he said pointing to his katana.

"Let's de-transform and formally meet one another, so turn around blonde boy," I said.

"You're blonde too!" he replied.

"Only when I'm Sailor Moon," I said, "Now turn and if I catch you looking I'll neuter you."

We de-transformed and it revealed,

"Renee?" I said looking at my friend with her overly thick glasses.

"Not fair! The Sailor Moon hater _is_ Sailor Moon!" she said. Next to her was red-neck Supreme Jimmy Tiberius-Kirkwood. Though I knew his real name, and had my own nick name for him.

"Hey, Jed Clampet," I said.

"Lena, it just_ had_ to be you," he replied in an annoyed tone.

"I'm not the princess by the way, Ice Bitch holds that honor." I added in.

"You're kidding me!" Renee said.

"I wish I was." I said.

"And her consort?" asked Renee.

"Prince," I replied, "Andy is Jupiter, Ned is Nephrite, Eddy is a double of Darien, whose name we don't know."

"Odd, so Eddy's Tuxedo Mask?" Renee asked excitedly.

"No tux, nor mask, just black and gold uniform like Jimmy's here," I said.

"Weird," Renee said.

Freak number 3 appeared as Me, Jupiter, and Mars were all out on patrol on a Saturday Night, the boys were on the other side of town.

"So you're the one destroying us," tittered an annoying woman's voice.  
>"Zoycite I presume?" asked Jupiter.<p>

"You know of me, how quaint!" Zoycite said with another annoying titter.

"Mercury Bubble's Splash!"

"Fenrir Crystal Fang Bite!"

"Now Sailor Moon!" yelled a girl's voice, presumably Mercury. I shrugged and threw my tiara at the shadowy form of Zoycite only to hear her scream and the fog cleared revealing her male double who was a dead ringer for Zack North.

"Zoisite," said the guy bowing to us as Sailor Mercury just waved.

"So then there was four," I said.

We regrouped and it revealed that Mara was Mercury and Ezekiel "Zeke" Smith, the second biggest redneck in the school and Jimmy's cousin was Zoisite. The geeky redneck had on thick glasses and had his dark brown hair cropped short, his mint green eyes looking at Mara in shock.

"So I turned out to be the smart scout, big deal!" Mara muttered, "Why's the Sailor Moon Hater, Sailor Moon?"

"Irony," I replied, "What's worse is the Bitch Queen is the Moon Princess."

"Oh, HELL NO!" Mara said, "There is no way I'm serving a self-absorbed super bitch."

"We don't appear to have a choice," Andy said looking as angry as I felt.  
>"And if the pattern holds true, Malachite will appear and so will Sailor Venus along with Kunzite," said Eddy.<p>

"So Mrs. Goodall mentioned some damn leak, right? Well why don't we have Mercury here find it and then seal it tighter than a fricken' drum to keep them out of our world?" I said.

"How did you know Mercury could do that?" asked Mara.

"I've seen maybe six episodes of the whole freaken' series and Mercury's job always seemed to be the analyst," I muttered.

"Right, but we'd need some nega-energy to analyze and we just deep-sixed our only sources until Malachite shows his bleached mug," said Mara.

"Until then we need to protect the Bitch Queen and her consort," said Andy.

"Heaven help us," Renee said.

"Notice how, so far, that all our allies are our respective inner circles?" Eddy asked me during lunch. We packed our lunches while the others bought theirs so we had time to talk.

"Now that you mention it, yeah, odd; wait you don't think that Molly's actually…?" I said.

"That and my friend Karl might be her counterpart," Eddy said his eyes flickering to where his diminutive friend sat, his silver eyes focused on the book of military strategy he held in his hands. Everyone knew what Karl wanted to do, despite his short stature, and I say, go for it. The little guy would make one heck of a secret weapon. The enemy wouldn't see him until it was too late! Ok, mean! And my nickname for him was "Reepicheep." Eddy usually called Karl,

"Hey, Mighty Mouse! Quit reading and go get in line or there won't be any food left!" Eddy said.

"Whatever you say, Goldilocks!" Karl said closing his book and setting it down before he got into line. Just as he did the room shook and the lights went out, which was no big deal as it was day light and the windows let in a lot of light. In the middle of the shadowed room appeared a white haired figure with gray on yellow eyes that I assumed was this Malachite figure from the fact his white hair looked bleached. And in following the trend of the other bad guys he looked like one of the Bitch Squad's consorts, in this case, the ultimate unobtainable guy Michael South, and lo and behold Michael was in plain view trying to valiantly protect Mina, while his counterparts did likewise for the other four.

"Serena Moonstone, surrender and I will let these people live!" Malachite said. SHIT! How the hell did the Negaverse find the Princess?

"Venus Crescent Beam Smash!"

"HAHH!" Two rays of light appeared and slammed into Malachite's side just as Jupiter, Mars, Mercury, Zoisite, Jadeite, and Nephrite burst out of the lunch line along with fog.

"Mars Fireballs Ignite!" Mars yelled aiming her hand at the doors blasting them open.

"Get out of here morons!" Mercury yelled as she spread a fog over the room,

"Look and I'll strangle you with your hair," I threatened before I threw my hand into the air,

"MOON PRISM POWER!" I yelled, my voice not my own. A rush later and I was Sailor Moon, and Serena Moonstone was staring directly at me in shock. Her consort was staring blankly at Eddy's transformed state reminding me of a pair of statues. The only thing I could think to say in such a situation that Eddy and I now found ourselves was,

"Well, shit."

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